


I Didn't Want This For You

by Ehentalix



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: AU, Didn't Want This AU, Sad, reprise of a song, yeah I turned it into a full au after all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-01-22 17:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21306179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ehentalix/pseuds/Ehentalix
Summary: Steven sings a reprise to "Full Disclosure" after Connie misses the bus to Space Camp.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Prologue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven sings a reprise to an old song.

Steven winced as the van hit a pothole, his grip on Connie's hand firm. They were speeding through town, going at least double the limit, but they had to be fast. For her sake.

_She was supposed to be at Space Camp! She was only running a few minutes late; just a bit of time for some cuddling, a few kisses. And then that stupid **fucking **gem showed up! Why did she run out there? Why did she try to fight it? Why would a gem weapon do something like this to a human?!_

Steven flinched hard when his phone rang out with a haunting melody. He took it from his pocket, and as the caller ID flashed across the screen, he remembered a familiar tune of his own.

“I tried to tell you gem stuff's dangerous

I guess you never believed me after all

You always seemed like you could take it

And now I'm really freaking out

What did I do?

I didn't want this for you

Everybody told me life was precious

On the planet Earth, and that meant you

I guess I couldn't protect you

And somehow you got hurt

What did I do?

I didn't want this for you

What am I going to tell them?

They need to know about the trouble you're in

I didn't want them to worry about what we would see

About the places we'd be

You didn't have to be part of this

Even though we both wanted to be

And now I don't have you

And you don't have me...”

Swiping to accept the call, he brought the phone to his ear with a shaking hand. “Hi, doctor Maheswaran, I-”

“Universe?” The voice that cut him off seemed rushed, but not quite on the edge of panic, just concerned. For now. “Look, I haven't got much time. I'm at work, but Doug just called to say Connie never made it for her bus to Space Camp. Do you know where she is? This camp was a lot of money. So help me if you dragged her off on some nonsense again-”

“Doctor Maheswaran, I need you to listen to me. You have to have them prep an operating room right now. You're going to need a lot of blood; O negative, B negative, whatever you've got around.”

“What on Earth are you talking abou- Wait. Connie is B negative. Steven, is she okay? Tell me she's okay! _What have you done to my baby?!_”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AO3 screwed the pooch big time with some major errors. The prologue was somehow posted twice, as both Chapter 1 and Chapter 4, and when I deleted the latter, Chapter 2 became Chapter 1? So I'm reuploading the prologue here and hoping that fixes things. If not, I may end up taking down the fic and reposting it from scratch.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steven recounts the events of the day

“Steven?”

Machines beeped in the background. Sitting there, looking at his hands, past his hands, he could hear them taking in the operating room. Shattered ribs, multiple organs damaged or failing, and blood loss exceeding fifty percent.

“Hey, Schtu-ball?”

Footsteps. Approaching rapidly, a frantic, frenetic pace. Shouting, arguing, pleading to be let in, to help, to do something. He didn't want to look up, but if he looked at his hands for too long, he'd start to notice the blood again. Her blood. The blood of someone precious to him, and he was covered in it. He had picked up her bleeding, mangled form, and rushed her here as fast as he could, but was he fast enough?

He felt someone grab his shoulders, and his head snapped up to look Doctor Maheswaran in the eyes. So much like her daughter's, but full of grief and fear and hate. “Universe! What did you do to her?! They won't tell me anything, they won't let me in the room, they say that they don't want me to see her 'like this'! What do they even mean by that?! Tell me what happened to my little girl, or I swear I'm going to-!”

And then his father was there. Good old dependable Greg, who had jumped out of his van without asking questions, tossed aside some of his most prized music equipment so he could ease her bloody corpse onto the mattress, and then blazed his way through town to rush them to the hospital. Greg took Dr. Maheswaran by the shoulders, lifted her bodily, and set her to the side.

“Hey. Priyanka. Hey. Just, just breathe, alright? I know you're scared. Hell, we're all scared, but losing your cool isn't going to help you, and it certainly isn't going to help Connie. Breathe.”

Steven watched as Priyanka Maheswaran clutched at her jacket, knuckles going pale as she shuddered. “Please, I... I just want to know what happened...” Letting out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, Steven opened his mouth and began to explain.  
“Steven! What took so long?” Connie rushed forward to hug him, and Steven embraced her fiercely.

“Ugh. The Diamonds. They really want me to move in so they can smother me with attention twenty-four seven.”

“Sounds fun.” Steven laughed, and they chatted as they walked down from the observatory/garden, and he cracked a joke about her favourite web series. “Now, are you sure you're going to be alright while I go to space camp? I hate to run off on you in the middle of construction and all, and you just got back, but my parents are trying to support my interests, and they did pay a good deal of money for this...”

“Connie, relax! I know I like to tease you about how you've, y'know, been to space and all, but I bet you'll have a great time! It'll be good to hang out with some real humans for a while, don't you think?”

“Yeah, I guess...” Pulling him into another hug, Connie flushed as she boldly planted a kiss on his cheek, squeezing him close. “I'm gonna miss you, Steven. Tell Sadie and the band I'm sorry I couldn't make their show tonight, yeah?”

Steven stammered out an agreement, his own face even redder than his girlfriend's, and jumped slightly as her phone's alarm went off. “Uhh, Connie? I think that means you're supposed to get going so you can catch your bus. You dad will be waiting. Connie?”

“Ah, to Hell with it. I'll call my dad later, and I can take Lion to camp faster than the bus anyways. Now c'mere, you!” Steven let out a mock gasp and Connie pulled him down onto the bed, wrapping her arms around him and clinging to his back.

“Why, Miss Maheswaran, did you just curse? The scandal! What would your mother think?” They laughed together for a moment, then lay in silence, enjoying the warmth of each other's bodies as they cuddled. “The future sure is bright right now. The war is over, the corrupted gems are healing, and even Jasper is coming around! I hope we can stay like this forever.” Steven felt Connie tense, her hands gripping his jacket and her legs twining with his. “Hey, what's wrong?”

“Nothing, Steven it's just...” Connie trailed off, staring into the middle distance as Steven turned around to face her. “You're right. This is really nice, and I want things to stay this way. My mom would freak if she knew what I was thinking, but I'm sure I could make a convincing argument, even if tit's a little rushed, and now I'm rambling and I hate that I'm ruining the moment, but with all the things that we face every day, it's now or never. I need to ask, Steven-”

She cut off as the loud, window-rattling crack of something breaking through the lower atmosphere hit them, followed by the immense thud of said something landing on the ground. “That sounded like it came from the hill above the temple.” Connie sprang from the bed, pulling her sword from her bag, and darted down the stairs before Steven even had time to react. Steven heard the screen door slam shut behind her, and ran downstairs just in time to hear a strange voice shouting.

“Hey! Are you Steven Universe?” Puling open the door, Steven looked outside just in time to see Connie square off with a strange figure with an inverse-heart-shaped gem, who had made their way down to the beachfront.

“Nah, you're not Steven Universe. And where are all the other clods Pink ditched me for, huh? Pfft, whatever; I guess I'll just have to play with you for now.”

The thing was fast, impossibly fast, and was stretching and bouncing circles around Connie, wielding a scythe with a blade of crackling pink energy. Connie was holding the strange gem off for now, but Steven couldn't just stand there and let her fight alone. He vaulted over the porch railing and landed on the beach a few feet away, just in time to see Connie slip and catch a blow from the scythe. Being human, the gem weapon would phase right through her; sure it would sting, but she'd be able to recover while her opponent was caught off-balance.

So then what was that spray of red in the air? Why was Connie falling back, falling onto the ground? Had she been hit by the haft of the weapon? No, it was a clean strike with the edge. There's no way it could have actually hurt her, right? Right?

“Oooh, this one's an organic! Well well well well well, I haven't seen one of those in a few millennia! Guess ole Pinky was right; they really do crumble at the slightest touch of a phase weapon. Oh well.” Shouldering her scythe, the gem turned, then grinned when she saw Steven, who was frozen in shock. “How about you, big guy? You look like Steven Universe to me! Care to go a round?”

Steven stood trembling as the gem approached, unable to tear his eyes off of Connie's limp form. A puddle of blood was pooling under her, and she wasn't moving. She was hurt, and she was hurt bad. It was all his fault... No. It was all her fault. This gem, who came out of nowhere, broke the peace he'd established across the stars, and hurt his Connie. “You...”

“What was that?” The gem cocked a hand mockingly to its ear, which had grown cartoonishly in size. “Didn't quite catch what you said. But hey, you could always catch this!” She swung her scythe with crushing force, and was shocked when the small figure before her stopped it with his bare hand. The boy's head snapped up, and he glared at her through diamond-shaped pupils. “What in the..?”

“You. You hurt her. You hurt my friend. Connie is dying, and it's ALL YOUR FAULT!” Tightening his grip on the scythe, Steven squeezed, breaking it messily in half. His other hand came up with blinding speed, and caught the gem in a powerful uppercut which sent her staggering back. Pressing the offensive, he landed blow after bone-shattering blow on the pink creature, slamming his bare fists into her again and again. After a moment, the other combatant managed to disengage, and stepped back, panting.

“H-hey now... You uh, you're the peaceful guy, right? Y-you wouldn't shatter ole Spinel, would you? Look, I'm real sorry about the organic! I'll, uh, I'll find you a new one! C'mon, d-don't look at me like that! H-hey! What are you doing with that? No, come on, please, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't do it, please, please, PLEASE DON'T SHATTER ME!”

Crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I went ahead and made another chapter for this, thereby confirming that I will be making a full AU fic out of it. Updates will be random, and usually pretty short. This isn't a full-time project; I'm working on this when I have nothing else taking up my time. When I get back to my main work station, I'll start making better-edited and longer chapters probably.
> 
> Leave a comment if you have something to say.


	3. Chapter 2

"Wait, hold on. You didn't actually... Did you..?"

Steven fished around in his pocket, and drew out the heart-shaped stone within. It had a spiderweb of cracks along its face, but was otherwise still intact. He hadn't bothered to bubble it; it was doubtful that the gem inside was in any hurry to reform, especially with how badly cracked she was. Greg heaved a sigh of relief, but Priyanka just frowned, clenching her fists so hard Steven was surprised her hands weren't bleeding.

"So, that's the thing that got her, huh? Doesn't look like much. But then again, neither did those two creatures last year, and we both remember what happened there."

Steven nodded, shoving Spinel back into his pocket. "I left the pieces of her weapon in the front yard, but I can have the Crystal Gems take a look at them later. I should really call Pearl and let her know what's going on. Why don't you go and get a cup of coffee, Dr Maheswaran? I get the feeling it's going to be a long day. I'll come and get you if there's any news."

As Priyanka stood, Greg did as well, clapping his son on the shoulder. "I uh. I have a call I need to make as well. Might take me a bit to remember the number; my phone is still at the car wash, so I'm gonna go use the payphone. If you need anything, I'm just right around the corner, okay Schtu-ball?"

After a few moments of rooting fruitlessly around in his pockets, Steven realised he had left his own cell in the van. Well didn't that just figure. Sighing, and with one last look at the doors leading to the OR wing, he pushed himself to his feet at walked over to where the payphones, and Greg, were. He didn't know what prompted him to peek around the corner first, but he paused when he saw his dad holding a black business card and grumbling into the receiver. He didn't intend to eavesdrop, it just happened.

"C'mon, god dammit, I know you'll still be listening... Deedee! Finally. Yeah, I know this number isn't active anymore, but _you_ picked up. Greg. Gregory DeMayo. The pass phrase? Shit, uh... Yeah. It's uh. Chinchilla. Listen, I need you to call Alex, tell him it's urgent; about the Maheswaran kid. Yes, _those_ Maheswarans, and before you say anything, I _know_ this will get the military asking questions, but I don't care! Tell Alexander that I still remember the Petrikovs, and he owes me! He's got one hour, or else I'm calling Slyman next, and Alex is going to have to explain about the Russians! ... Yeah. Okay, you do that. Bye, Deedee."

Steven stumbled back to his chair as Greg hung up the phone and headed the other way, and slumped back. _What the hell was that? The military would be asking questions? __**Russians**__?! There haven't been any Russians since before I was even born! The whole country was wiped out _years _ago in the Third War; I remember reading about it in one of Connie's history books. And what do the Maheswarans have to do with the military? I thought they were disbanded!_

"What the hell is going on?!"

"Steven? What's wrong? Is it Connie, have they said anything?" Priyanka stood looking around, anxiously clutching her mug of coffee. Perhaps it hadn't been the best suggestion after all. When she failed to spot any of the other surgeons, she heaved a sigh and sat down in the chair across from Steven, eyes downcast. "No, never mind, I'm sure you would have said. I'm just... What do I do if she doesn't wake up? What do I tell Doug? Hell, what do I tell _anyone_? Gods, I wish Alex was here. Or hell, even Slyman, that rat bastard..."

Steven jumped up. "Wait. Hold on a second. Alex? As in Alexander? And Slyman the military guy? You _know _these people?!"

"I uh. I mean... That is, I do, but... Wait, how the hell do _you_ know about them?"

"My dad just got off the phone with someone named Deedee, and he threatened to tell Slyman about the Petrikovs if he didn't hear back from Alex in an hour. Doctor Maheswaran, who are these people? This country isn't even supposed to have a military! And if there were a military, why would they care about Russians? I didn't even know Russia was a country until a month ago; I always thought it was an ocean!"

"Look, Steven, I'll can explain everything, just not now, okay?"

"No! I want you to explain _right now_! I am sick and tired of being left in the dark all the time!" Steven glared at Priyanka, his pupils slowly shifting to a diamond shape. "It's always later, later, later with you people! When you're older, Steven! It's just not a good time, Steven! You wouldn't understand, Steven! Enough is enough!"

Priyanka took a half-step back, barely even aware that she had stood from her seat, then returned Steven's glare with a glower of her own. "Look, Steven, I understand you're upset right now, but this really doesn't concern you!"

"Doesn't concern me? _Doesn't concern me?! _You don't understand a goddamn_ thing! _Connie is fucking _dying_! You're not the only one who loves her!" Steven began to glow a fait, dim pink, swelling slightly in size until he was looking Dr Maheswaran in the eyes. "She might be your daughter, but she's _my friend_! She's the _only _real friend that I've ever had, and I am _this fucking close _to losing her forever! She's only in this mess because of me, and if things can be sorted out somehow, if this can all be made better by someone, _I deserve to fucking know_! My powers aren't working on her and I don't know why! _**So you sit your ass down and you tell me how the fuck to save my girlfriend!**_"

Panting, Steven realized that at some point during his tirade, he had come to be looking down at Priyanka. Not by much, maybe a few inches, but the shock of it was enough to snap him back to normal size, and he collapsed bonelessly into his chair, tears rolling down his face. "I'm... I'm sorry. But please... Just. Just tell me what's going on. I have to save her..."

As Priyanka, shaking slightly, opened her mouth to respond, both of their heads snapped over to the reception area, where there was a sudden commotion.

"Sir!" shouted the receptionist, "sir, you can't come in here without signing in! You need to tell me who you're here to see, and the rest of these people need to wait out here! Sir!"

"Fine. My name is Alexander Reinor. I am here to see doctor Priyanka Maheswaran. These men will stay here, but by order of the president, they are going to keep out anyone who hasn't been previously authorized to enter. I know this wing is currently housing only the one patient, and there are no passages to other parts of the hospital through those doors, so I also know that anyone who tries to bypass them is full of shit. You can call the mayor's office if you like; that's the chief of the local branch of the state police back there, so you won't need to be calling them. Does this satisfy your needs for checking in?"

A short, balding man in a black suit pushed his way through the door into the waiting room, followed quickly by an anxious-looking Greg. "I still don't know how the hell you got here so fast, Alex, but boy am I ever glad you came! I'm sorry about the Petrikov thing, but I had to make sure you wouldn't try to duck this one."

"Warp tech, Universe," the man replied in a sharp, nasal voice. "We finally figured out how to get the damn things working, and this city is peppered with them. My team was already on standby for another job, but when Deedee called and told me what you said, I decided this took precedent." Pausing when he spotted Priyanka, the man lifted his sunglasses to the top of his head and grinned widely. "Ahh, now there's a sight to make eyes sore! Bring it in, Doc!"

Priyanka rose from her seat and staggered over to embrace the man, pulling him tight. "God, Alex! Thank you so much for coming. I know we didn't leave things on the greatest terms, but it's really good to see you..."

"Yeah, Doc, I know, I heard. And we can play the apology game later. First, why don't you introduce me to the kid? He's been staring at my eyes since I took my glasses off, and I'm sure he'd like to know what's going on."

Steven pushed himself up and proffered his hand for the suited man to shake. He had indeed been staring: the man's eyes were a piercing shade of orange, and more importantly had diamond-shaped pupils. Steven got the feeling he wasn't a gem, but he definitely wasn't sure about anything past that.

"You'll be the Universe boy. Alexander Reinor kid, pleased to finally meet you. Not that I blame your old dad for never talking about me; we didn't leave things in a good way when he decided to quit the program. Up until a little while ago, I bet the only one he wanted to see less than me is Farty Marty, and maybe Slyman. We'll get to proper introductions in a bit, and I'll explain about the eyes. Right now, I have to go see my daughter, Connie."

Steven stood shocked as Alex strolled past him towards the OR, barely registering what had just been said. When it finally hit him, he spun around, staring at the retreating man. "... Wait, your _**what?!**_"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What? Another update?!
> 
> Yeah, this one took me ages to hash out where I wanted to go with things. Please ignore the fact that this is horribly formatted and essentially unedited; this is still just something I'm doing in between working on other projects, so I don't really have the time or energy to put into making it look nice. Maybe once it's finished I'll go back and reformat it so it's an easier read, but for now, just sit back and enjoy the story.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Steven finally learns things.

“Okay. If someone doesn’t start explaining  _ right now _ , I am going to flip my entire shit. I am seriously freaking out right now, and I  _ will _ lose my cool.”

“Alright, Schtu-ball, I think it’s time you knew some things about your old man. You might want to uh. Sit down for this one.” Greg had taken a seat himself, and was nervously rubbing his bald spot. “Priyanka, is it alright if I take the lead here? I know she’s your kid, but Connie is a big part of Steven’s life now, and her story plays pretty heavily into mine.”

When Priyanka waved her hand in assent, and Steven had sat down, Greg began. “It all started a long time ago. Thousands of years ago, in fact. Back when the Diamonds first scouted the Earth. They sent drones to collect samples of the local flora and fauna, as well as the soil and the rocks, to see if it was worth making a colony out of the planet. The robonoids catalogued a lot of things, but what they weren’t expecting was some of the frightened natives to attack them; in fact, they probably weren’t expecting intelligent organic lifeforms at all. They were so surprised, they sent a team of Aventurine knights to capture a few.”

“Wait, how do you know all this?” Steven interrupted. “Pearl and Garnet never mentioned this once in all their stories; did you hear it from mom?”

Greg sighed, looking somehow even more troubled. “No, Steven. In fact, I doubt your mom even knew Earth existed at the time; she’d have been pretty young, as far as the Diamonds go, and it was news to her when I told her.” He was sweating now, and the expression on his face reminded Steven of something. He paled as he realized what.

“That time in the van, when we were running away from the Arm and evacuating Beach City. What was it you said, it’s not like you were there? But you  _ were _ there, weren’t you dad? You were there the whole time.”

Greg clasped his hands tight, and rested his forehead on his whitened knuckles. “Yeah, buddy, I was there. Or well, I was sort of there. The gems, when they took those ancient humans, they… did things to us. Experiments on organic lifeforms, and how we functioned. They wanted to know why we evolved the way we did, and if we could be made to better serve the Diamond Authority.” With a deep, shuddering breath, he looked into his son’s eyes. “I was one of the last experiments, before they scrapped the project. They wanted to know if they could make a human regenerate after their body was destroyed. Most of the other ‘participants’ failed to do so; I’m still not sure why I didn’t. But unlike gems, when humans like me regenerate, it’s different: we come back as babies, and we don’t retain our memories on our own. We can recover them, but only if we have some sort of record.

“I was set free after the study was shut down, and left to live on Earth. Fast forward a few thousand years, some time after the Third War, and that’s where Priyanka comes in. I signed on to a team of military scientists who had gone underground after they disbanded the army, and became part of a study on enhancing and altering humans. Long story short, they knew about the potential threat of the gems coming back to Earth, and had seen the type of havoc corrupted gems were capable of wreaking, and they wanted a way to combat it.

“One of the lead researchers was Doctor Satya Maheswaran, Priyanka’s mother. Priyanka was just a kid when I was still with the program, but after my falling out with Slyman, she grew up on base and eventually had a daughter. From what she’s told me, she and Connie were both part of the experiments: Priyanka was altered in-utero to have nerves of steel; she’s one of the best damn surgeons out there because her hands can’t tremble. She’s a genius of her own accord, though, they never messed with that. After a while, she left the program too. Met Doug, married, raised Connie just outside of town, and here we are today.”

“I have… so,  _ so _ many questions. But right now, only one is important: why can’t I heal Connie?”

“Better let me take that one, Greg.” Alex had come back at the end of the story, and was rubbing the bridge of his nose. “It has to do with the way we altered her DNA. One of the tests was to combat potential biohazards that might be weaponized against us. In simple terms, Connie’s got really powerful white blood cells; after her body is exposed to a foreign agent once, it’ll run its course, and then never have an effect on her again. Unfortunately for us, her blood also considers any host it’s transfused into to be a foreign agent, and attacks it accordingly. That’s part of the reason the good doctor left the program.”

“Oh. So when I healed her eyes a few years ago, it made it so my powers wouldn’t work on her anymore…” Steven slumped even lower in his chair, his form shifting slightly and flattening out like a deflated tire. “Fantastic. Anything else I should know about? I’ve still got a ton of questions, but I can’t really sort out what to ask first.”

“Well, I’ll let the Doc and your dad get into more personal stuff, but I could always tell you a bit more about myself. My eyes, for example: during one of our early scouting trips to a place called Mask Island, we encountered an enemy we couldn’t see. After getting our butts thoroughly kicked, the brass decided that enhanced vision was a pretty high priority. I volunteered to undergo experimental surgery using some gem tech that we had recovered, and you can see the results. Aside from looking like an anime character, I can see in complete darkness and other extreme conditions, as well as having ultraviolet and infrared vision. I get migraines pretty easily though, hence the sunglasses.”

Time passed slowly as Alex caught up with Greg and Priyanka, pausing now and then to loop Steven into the conversation with witty remarks or funny stories. It was nice to finally have an adult around who he didn’t have to pester for information. Alex seemed like a good man, and Steven was quickly growing fond of him. He still had a load of things he wanted to know, but processing all this new information was going to take time, and with Connie still in the OR, time was more or less all he had. At some point, he ducked out to fetch his phone from the van and call the Crystal Gems, getting them up to speed on what had happened and requesting that they stay put until the situation had changed.

Several hours later, one of the nurses came out of the operating theater, catching the attention of all four of them. “We’ve managed to get her stable. She hasn’t regained consciousness yet, but that medicine you brought has helped bring her out of the woods for now. You may go in and see her if you like.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, another update! Surprisingly, this fic is, in fact, still alive. I cranked this out the other day while dealing with writer's block on another project. As usual, I'm posting this more or less unedited, and with minimal formatting. Who knows, maybe I'll edit it some day so it sucks less. But probably not.
> 
> And yes, I know this doesn't quite answer the burning question I left off the last chapter with, but I'm sure some of you will be smart enough to infer that one on your own.

**Author's Note:**

> Partially inspired by the Gone Wrong AU by spudinacup.tumblr.com (which in turn was partially inspired by a commission I bought from them).
> 
> This fic will be largely unedited and unformatted.


End file.
